A Demon Went to Church on Tuesday
by NiteQueen
Summary: Kurt heads off to a church in a nearby town for some quiet reflection, but this accidentally is spotted by someone else in the church...what's a blue fuzzy elf to do?
1. What's that smell

Good god I'm so sorry to re-post this but I had to remove it cause I couldn't get the author's notes off(stupid new rule). and it was waaaay to complicated to fix. sorry to be a nuance.  
  
Not mine don't sue!  
  
*kay I've had this on my computer for ever and finally got around to cleaning it up, yes I know that with x2 it seems a bit cliché now but that's not what I intended it to be. I originally wrote this during the beginning of season 2 so there's no mass mutant hysteria or anything. I kinda did this as a one shot, but if people like it I might add a companion piece to it. Have no fear this is not a mary-sue, heck the girl doesn't even have a name! oh well yeah so here it is..*  
  
Sweat dripped down her brow, seeping into her lashes. Squinting in pain she rubbed her eyes furiously in irritation. The heat was stifling, hanging in the air like a thick encompassing blanket, the mirage emitting off the black top distorted her view of the bottom of the hill. Despite all this the petite brunette pressed on, continuing her jog.  
  
She finally came to her destination, halting she stared at the building in front of her, hunched over, hands on her hips her she tried to regain her breath, but found no relief from the gasps of thick, humid air. Standing on the stoop, she leaned heavily upon the large oak doors leading into the church, the creak of the hinges echoed thru the empty parish.  
  
She shivered as the cooler air inside brushed past her. Gingerly she dipped her fingers into the small cup mounted on the wall, making the sign of the cross and continued further into the dimly lit church. She reached down the front of her shirt and produced two now slightly soggy dollar bills, looking at them she shrugged before cramming them into the poor box.  
  
After lighting a candle she kneeled down at the alter, there she crouched in silent meditation. She smiled thankfully as a cool breeze swept through the open stained glass windows. Her smile was soon replaced as she caught a whiff of a foul, rotten smell. Standing she lifted her arms and sniffed her shirt, shrugging she looked around, her interest now peaked as she tried to find the origins of the offending stench .  
  
Hearing the groan of one of the wooden pews, she glanced up at the balcony. The balcony was only opened for large holiday gatherings and since it was a Tuesday morning in the middle of June there was no real need to be up there. Assuming whoever was up there, was up to no good; she hastily made her way to the stairs leading to the upper level. Faint mumblings could be heard; she ascended the stairs concluding that whoever was on the balcony was most likely the same person responsible for the recent vandalism in the rectory. Smiling at being able to catch the delinquent red handed, she quietly mounted the last few stairs.  
  
What she saw was far from a vandal, there sitting in one of the front pews was a, a thing. As her mind registered the fact that this thing was covered in blue fur and its tail swished, lazily back and forth, she let out a frightened gasp. She was frozen in place as the creature turned to the noise; large blank yellow eyes stared back at her. Tilting its' head to the side, it seemed to gaze at her for what felt like an eternity. Rounding its' shoulders, its' head dropped, almost in shame. She yelped at its' sudden movements, sighing the being stood, and she backed away not knowing what was happening.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
With that the thing closed his eyes and poof,- or- rather BAMF it was gone. The girl stood there, alone trying to comprehend what she had just seen as the smoke wafted about dissipating into the air.  
  
"..sorry,.. uh yeah, me too." She said to herself.  
  
The End ~nitey 


	2. The heck was I thinking

Okay I've decided, after so much wonderful encouragement and a few threats of devil dogs (lol) to write story to go with A Demon Went to Church on Tuesday. I might make this a little longer depending on the type of response I get to it. I still toying with the plot, so it's all kinda up in the air. If you have any suggestions please don't be shy to share them, I love to hear what others think! I hope you enjoy!  
  
*/blah blah blah* means thoughts  
  
* I don't own anyone so please don't sue me*  
  
The oak doors stood forebodingly before her. Ingrid sighed, pushing them open slowly, so not to make too much noise.  
  
* I can do this*  
  
Looking around, the church appeared to be dim and vacant, as usual. Going thru her routine, she blessed herself, then placed a few bills in the poor box before making her way towards the roped off stairway leading up towards the balcony. Ducking under the threadbare velvet rope she ascended the stairs, she smirked to herself as she skillfully avoided the creaks in the old wood.  
  
Ingrid had taken up jogging as a way to stay in shape, and would from time to time visit the church while on her run; days when she could drag herself out of bed she would go in the early morning. Giving and indignant sigh, she reached the first landing.  
  
* Coming here in the morning is what got me into this mess in the first place!*  
  
Ever since last summer she made it a point to run in the morning. She felt silly and would never admit that she most likely had some sort of unhealthy obsession; but "he" had intrigued her. She would come hoping to see him or at least hear him. He mostly spoke heavily accented English, but occasionally slipped into German. Her visits where short and sporadic, but she would always go up to check if he were there.  
  
* Today is going to be different,* she vowed to herself subconsciously climbing the stairs a bit quicker. She even dressed up, well somewhat, a plain skirt, a black t-shirt and her hair in a quasi-neat bun.  
  
* What the hell am I doing? *  
  
She stopped now having a clear view of "him." Kneeling down in a pew, his head was resting on oddly shaped intertwined hands. His tail, constantly moving, flopped back and forth. Peculiarly tinged blue skin, blurred him in the darkness of the parish. Briefly closing her eyes, to get past these "oddities," Ingrid made her way towards his pew.  
  
*I'm gonna die.*  
  
Panic mounting up in her she almost fled, but it was too late now, she was too close. Deep in thought he had not realized he was no longer alone.  
  
Swallowing the rising bile from her nervous stomach, she sat down about a yard away, staring straight ahead at the alter.  
  
Now obviously aware of her presence he gasped looking at her. Rubbing her clammy palms on her lap she faced him.  
  
* It's now or never*  
  
"H-hhhi." she stuttered giving a weak smile.  
  
.  
  
*should there be more? You tell me, just click that little button in the bottom left hand corner of the screen!* I gave her a name, yeah Ingrid is a little old school but I like it.  
  
~Nitey 


	3. Family Value sized Shampoo

Hey guys!  
  
I'm so sorry it took me this long to update, but you see, I'm a really big loser and I'm in AV club and I'm the only bloody girl to boot! But I digress, we have a video for the school due on the last day, so I've been spending mad amounts of hours trying to bend imovie3 to my will, (not an easy task) any-who, so I've been preoccupied, but here's the next installment, I hope you enjoy!  
  
**if you have any input, or ideas that you think might be cool, pass them along, cause you never know, you might just see them in the next chapter!**  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Maat: Happy Belated B-Day my dear! Enjoy the car!  
  
Ingrid's nervous system was at full throttle, her heartbeat thundering in her ears, snapping her head back to look straight ahead at the alter, her vision swam, white fluffy blotches danced in front of her.  
  
He had turned to look at her, clearly surprised by her presence, seeing as he had jumped a bit startled in the pew.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him resume his kneeled position; once again his forehead resting on his hands, leaning on the back of the pew in front of him. He was mumbling something very softly, obviously paying no heed to her at the moment.  
  
Initially, Ingrid saw this as her opportunity to make a mad dash for the door, her muscles clenched preparing to run, however, her curiosity, yet again compelled her to stay rooted in her seat.  
  
Straining to hear what he was saying, she craned her neck in his general direction. Recognizing the rhythm of the prayer she realized it was the Apostle's Creed. In her tizzyed state, her mind latched on to the familiar rhythm, and she began to mentally recite the prayer, almost in a daze she prayed:  
  
.I believe in Jesus Christ, his only son, our Lord.  
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit  
and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius  
Pilate, was crucified, died and was bur-  
  
Ingrid's meandering thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he sat up, straitening, no longer on his knees and sitting in the bench. She felt herself being drawn to look at him. Soon a pair of simple, brown eyes met the blank and un-blinking gaze of a pair of garish yellow orbs.  
  
Her mouth ran dry, her hands twitched in the in the irritating stillness of the parish. She looked at him closer, and for the first time noticed that he was hairy, really hairy, actually more like furry. Again her frazzled mind wandered,  
  
It's like Alan's dog, Kegs. She mused.  
  
Her mind raced on; thinking about how dirty Kegs would get in the summer and how he was such a pain to wash, washing brought her to the topic of soap., shampoo..., family value sized bottles of Pert Plus, all these peculiarly connected thoughts raced in her mind.  
  
"Wow you must use a lot of shampoo. -----" The comment lead to an odd silence that lasted until Ingrid's brain caught up with her mouth, finally realizing what she said, her hands, flew to her mouth deftly stifling her from letting another word slip.  
  
He tilted his head to the right, as if too need to reflect on what she said, braking their staring contest, he glanced down at his hands and arms, then bring up his hand he touched his fuzzy cheek, letting his gaze drift back to the girl sitting in front of him, Kurt's face broke into a feral grin.  
  
The girl's eyes grew wide as saucers, her hands still clamped over her mouth, he noted, the tips of her fingers were turning white.  
  
He couldn't hold it back any more, he broke out in howling laughter. Losing all self-control he spazismed in the pew, grabbing his sides, as he continued to hoot. He pointed a thick blue tinged finger at her, and attempted to speak but his words were overcome by more giggles.  
  
Ingrid had let her hands fall from her mouth as it now had dropped and flapped against the floor as she stared gaping at the, the, .. person before her, laughing at her none the less!  
  
Geez it's not that funny, she thought, now slightly more irritated than scared.  
  
As the moments passed; the laughter subsided into snickers, and then to a sporadic snorts. He once again drew silent, his eyes bore deep into her, he took at deep ragged breath, the aftereffect of his "fit." He seemed to be deciding on whether or not to say something.  
  
After another hesitant pause, he spoke.  
  
"Guten morgan frauline, it is so lovely to finally see you in something other than your running costume." With that he leaned back in the pew, acting causally, as if he had just commented on the weather.  
  
It was then, for the first time in her short life, Ingrid E. Amerst, who was notorious for classic "one-liners" was speechless.  
  
Minutes passed, the parish erupted into deafening silence. Ingrid stayed bolt right in her seat, gaping at the young man before her.. ..He knew about me?...  
  
**Okay, yes I'm horrible and I know that that's the crappiest place to end a chapter but, that's all the time I have right now to write. Exams start Monday so, a new chapter won't be up until later next week, unless my ADD kicks in and I try to avoid studying by writing. I just want to let every one know that I truly appreciate all the wonderful reviews I have received, it's all such wonderful encouragement!**  
  
You know what to do now, loyal readers! Yes that's right review! Yippe! 


	4. Diffrent this time

GAH! I'm so sorry, I know I lied! I feel horrible, really I had to go look at like 30 billion colleges, which was no fun, but now I'm back and I'm posting and I know it's short and I'm really not to pleased with this chapter so please I need some feed back on how to make it better! Again thank you to everyone who's been reviewing, yes you know who you are! :O)  
  
A defining silence resonated through the parish. Ingrid sat upright and unblinking in her seat. Shell shocked by the fact that she wasn't as anonymous as she thought she was. Dozens of questions raced through her head, and instead of finding answers only more uncertainty rose.  
  
Kurt saw the growing panic in her eyes; his ego was evaporating as quickly as it came. He mentally kicked himself for being so brassy. Now, regretting not taking a more subtle root he shifted nervously in the pew, waiting for the girl to respond.  
  
A silent minute passed, then two; Kurt's composer snapped under the girl's piercing gaze. "Despite ze fangs, I promise I don't bite," he prompted in a friendly voice, giving a big toothy grin. He inwardly winced when she recoiled at the sight of his teeth.  
  
Oh great, smooth move Wagner, scare her some more, you're doing a marvelous job! He chided himself.  
  
This was not the reaction he was going for. He had hoped this time would be different.  
  
Cheer up, at least she hasn't run away screaming or set a mob of angry villagers after you with pitchforks, his mind teased. He gave a rueful smile before he sighed, planning to port away; he looked back up at the girl.  
  
Ingrid stared at his face, and into his eyes. They were yellow, and blank, not like he wasn't paying attention, but blank as in void of anything, no iris, no pupil, nothing. She felt compelled to look at them, his face was pointed in her direction but where was his gaze focused?  
  
In some detached part of Ingrid's psyche she took note of how stupid they must have looked sitting in the dark at 6:30 in the morning, just staring at each other. Her thoughts were interrupted as he sighed, and looked down at his feet.  
  
OH MY GOD, his feet were, were. no, focus. She reprimanded herself.  
  
She tore her gaze away from his misshapen feet and back to the pained expression on his face. This is why she was here, why she had come everyday for the last few months. The look on his face was heart wrenching. It was the same face she had seen when they had last meet face to face. As lame as it sounded, it looked like he needed a hug. She suppressed a smile, and gathered up her nerve.  
  
Kurt gave one last nod of his head, closing his eyes and getting ready to make a quick escape. When she spoke,  
  
"I'm Ingrid."  
  
Kurt sat in shock, the girl; Ingrid quickly averted her eyes when he looked at her.  
  
"Kurt" he said genuinely smiling, hoping this time the conversation would last.  
  
"So, h-how did you know I was there?" she stuttered looking at him.  
  
"Vith, ears like zhese," he motioned to his own, "you don't miss much" he joked.  
  
Ingrid tilted head to the side, and gave a little laugh. The two teens continued to sit in the dark, but now they were talking. Kurt's heart was overjoyed, this time it was different.  
  
The End  
  
Gah this stinks, summer is killing all my brain cells I'm sorry, if any one could give me a little bit of advice on where to go from here I'd greatly appreciate it! Thank you so very much for reading this. poopy chapter! 


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